Amityville, North Amityville, Copiague, East Massapequa and Long Island, New York

I messed up a few months ago. I broke one of Newton's basic laws of physics, that is, an object cannot occupy the space of two places at the same time, even if the body wants her to.

I promised to be an auctioneer at the Last Hope wine tasting on Friday, but forgot that I would be in Philadelphia next weekend to collect the best breed information for the NBC National Dog Show that aired at noon on Thanksgiving.

Maybe my amnesia is because after the Covid interruption, these two events are about to recover in almost normal form, which makes me very excited. Since the last wine tasting at the American Armor Museum in Old Bethpage in the fall of 2019, Last Hope has not conducted a live auction, and I am an auctioneer. The 2020 National Dog Show has been reorganized to protect the public, exhibitors, AKC reviewers and TV staff.

The National Dog Show is hosted by the Philadelphia Kennel Club, which has held dog shows for more than 125 years. There are usually four days of different dog shows from Thursday to Sunday at the Oaks Convention Center outside Philadelphia a week or two before Thanksgiving. For the past 20 years, Saturday’s program has been the National Dog Show, and NBC will broadcast a two-hour highlight on Thanksgiving Day after the Macy’s parade.

Bet you wish you could bid for the priceless stegosaurus chalk lamps of the 1960s...

In 2020, the four-day cluster is replaced by a national dog show only, which is a single two-day exhibition that takes place throughout the weekend to ensure pandemic guidelines. Instead of 2,500 dogs entering in one day, only 600 champions are allowed in two days. Four groups were judged on Saturday, and the remaining three groups were judged on Sunday.

There are no audiences, vendors, sponsors or media. Since the public will not watch the incoming purebred dogs up close, they will not keep the dogs on the bench all day long. Instead, these dogs are allowed to enter 15 minutes before the start of the competition and must leave immediately after that, unless the dog has won the breed and needs to stay for a panel review.

...Or an old-fashioned cat cigar box wallet.

TV announcers David Frey, John O'Hley and Mary Carrillo did not participate in the show. Best of Breed series duo-neither Tracy nor me. We usually have a table next to the caretaker in Philadelphia, where about 200 owners, breeders or breeders hand in media information sheets about their best breeds. We check the form with everyone to make sure it is complete and clear, while putting the best stories aside for use on TV.

Since there were no spectators in the stands during the TV broadcast, the National Dog Show borrowed the idea of ​​a baseball stadium and provided cardboard cutouts of dogs and dog lovers to fill the seats. The donation to the cut has benefited AKC Pet Disaster Relief, which provides fully equipped trailers so that regional emergency managers can provide services immediately after disasters such as hurricanes or California fires.

When I learned that Edgar’s paper-cuts were sitting in the stands between the human stars of the National Dog Show David Frey and Mary Carrillo, and a seat of John O’Hley, I made a speech for my Edgar Afghan Poe The paper cuts ordered turned into a bittersweet surprise. Edgar appeared twice during the broadcast. I am very grateful for his portrait posing, because sadly, my beloved Edgar went to Rainbow Bridge the day after I ordered his cut.

Going back to the live auction of Last Hope: The Museum of American Armor this year, this is a wonderful, spacious venue with the atmosphere of Glenn Miller. Imagine having dinner while enjoying wine surrounded by authentic World War II tanks. Working at a dog show in Philadelphia didn't completely get me out of trouble. I have to help collect the items to be auctioned, instruct the auctioneer's alternatives (a competent young lawyer) and write promotional videos for the works I provide. Here are some suggestions from auctioneers:

1) If the participant drinks a few glasses of wine, the auction will raise more funds for the non-profit organization. This relaxes the arm holding the digital paddle and exaggerates the guest's opinion of the article for bidding. At the last wine tasting, I bid for an amateur oil painting of the Boston Terrier I found in the church thrift store. It must be the painter's personal pet. A volunteer who had drunk too much kept bidding himself higher, even if I told him to stop. When he won, he paid, but he didn't want it, so he gave it to the volunteer next to it. We recently reselled his award-winning paintings at the Last Hope thrift store.

2) Don't confuse the current bid with the number on the bidder's sign. Even if you have observers to help the audience, the auctioneer must make a conscious effort not to confuse the offered price with the number on the bidder’s sign.

3) Provide a variety of auction items, ranging from absurd to sublime, with varying values. You want to attract many attendees to bid. At the Last Hope wine tasting in Walt Whitman's birthplace, we auctioned off a rubber chicken wallet-a coveted accessory.

We provide about 15 items. Yes, there is a new flat-screen TV and a 14kt gemstone ring. Some items must be related to animals. This time we have an old-fashioned cat cigar box handbag, a pet water dispenser, a handmade beaded cat bracelet made by a volunteer, a rare Henry Bandel silk scarf, depicting a greyhound in a cafe, and my favorite A strange thing-a chalk stegosaurus lamp.

The dinosaur Tiffany lamp was donated by a generous Levittown lady, who provided Last Hope with many vintage works, mainly jewelry. She said that she bought it at an auction in the yard a few years ago and saw it sold for $165 on eBay. I hope I accept the offer because I will say something like this:

"Now, in order to light up your potential paleontologist, we have prepared a 1960s stegosaurus lamp for your bedside table. Did you know that some scientists believe that the spines on the back of giant reptiles have two functions-defense and temperature regulation ? This unique lamp is an antidote to fossil fuels.

In fact, the stegosaurus spine cooling mechanism may be the key to controlling global warming. Did I hear that this magical lamp cost at least $500? "

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